I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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