She's JV to your varsity
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
