Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
