Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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