I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
