I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
