She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
