Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
