Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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