I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I cut my penus on the lid.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
