he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
