no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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