i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
