woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
