I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
