i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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