Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
