the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize