i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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