I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
