Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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