God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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