Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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