3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
