he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
