That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
