I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
