whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
