I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize