Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
