There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
