I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize