i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize