Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
