hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
