Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Pants are for mortals
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
