Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
