They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
