in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
