Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize