He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
