Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize