I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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