I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
