Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize