just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
