Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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