When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Boobs are out for the taking
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
