God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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