even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
