I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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