You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
