You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think your dad took our porno
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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