For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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