I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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