so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
