it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
