Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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