i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize