he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
