You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
