Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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