I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
