:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
