mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We named our party play list daddy issues
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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