so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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