I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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